Those aren’t quite as specified as horseshoe crabs though (which are a taxonomic family, just above genus and species respectively). Sponges and jellyfish are both much more varied and encompass more than one class.

Similarly I can say that Reptiles beat horseshoe crabs since they’ve been around at least ~50 million years longer than the latter, but that wouldn’t really be a fair comparison because they encompass far more species than just horseshoe crabs. Regarding lasting a long time evolutionarily while staying relatively undiversified, horseshoe crabs are still uniquely notable. They aren’t called living fossils for nothing.

I’d say horseshoe crabs still beat us in terms of adaptability, they’ve been around since the Triassic (>250 million years ago).

Gaia sounds like an abusive parent in that case. Last time I checked it was her and her affair with evolution that threw us into the picture.

…there were asteroid impacts that did it a little more quickly.

They mention that in the article:

Perhaps barring the immediate aftermath of the dinosaur-obliterating asteroid impact 66 million years ago, atmospheric carbon dioxide levels have never risen as quickly as they have in the last couple of centuries.

Of course! When you make your product do some stupid illegal shit, just blame the product as if it’s anything more than bloated autocorrect entirely without a will of its own. That definitely makes sense.

Watching these people crash and burn can’t come soon enough.

Okay buddy, just be sure not to cut yourself on all that edge.

She was mentally ill and clearly already in a vulnerable state of mind beforehand. This is frankly a disgusting thing to say about the situation. Grow up.

What is the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?