somebody suggested I’m in the middle of an existential crisis. Just read my last post.
Fine, seems to be true.
Do people snap out of this?
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Joined 3 years ago
Cake day: November 3rd, 2023
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more than a question, this is just something that popped in my mind after taking a week off work already, a week without work means free time to hate the job you have, but in my case more than that I’ve been thinking about my childhood, my parents, my extended family, our holidays together, how insignificant we humans are, how fragile and short life is, how fast time goes by and how much I don’t want to work.
I guess this is cliche, but when I had to work I didn’t question my job this much, didn’t think about my childhood or my dreams, I simply wanted to get the job done, go home, eat and disconnect till the next day. I was like a machine, or a moron.
I’ll be a moron again when I have to work again. I don’t want to work.
It’s like I’m a different person when I’m not working.
Is this dangerous? People too busy with work don’t think like this.
I want to write poetry, lay on the sun in summer, listen to the cicadas, eat oranges and apples, listen to relaxing music. I want to play the guitar.
my father is religious, I’m not and I don’t care what happens to my body after I die. Burn me, use me to feed stray cats.
To me, wasting money to buy a plot of land so I may be buried with them when I die is a stupid idea.
It is, however, his money. Who am I to disagree with him?
We do exactly the same job.
To me the idea of enjoying a job is an odd one: I don’t want to work, I only work because I need the money. If I had money I wouldn’t work.
I don’t know if this makes me the oddest person on earth, but where I am my coworkers sometimes make me feel so.
She asked me if I enjoy my job. I looked at her surprised while thinking to answer her with a regular blanket manager answer like ‘it is such a honor to work here, fuck yeah, I’d love to work here for free!’ or being completely sincere.
I was in a good mood, so I chose being sincere: ‘I don’t enjoy working, I work because I need to pay for the rest of my life, I enjoy cooking, writing poetry and walking through a forest.’
She looked at me a bit surprised and replied: ‘but you have to like your job.’ My answer? ‘As long as I earn money all’s good.’
This happened in a big room with like 9 coworkers hearing the convo.
Now I don’t know if I just committed job suicide where I work at, but it was liberating saying out loud at the workplace what I think a job is.
And why the fixation that you must like a job? It’s a job for fucks sake. Why do you have to like it?
To me this only confirms my current job is a cult. Am I exaggerating?
If every workplace is like this I should stick with the devil I know…
you be the judge: the extra, unpaid hours most people willingly do setting the expectation you do that too, some people coming in 30 minutes before the shift starts and proud of it (what for? Are you going to be paid more?), obsession with presenting a good image to both coworkers and clients, the fake interest in getting to know you, conversations that feel scripted, forcing you to share about you, controlling the way you speak, yelling at the foreign coworkers when they don’t speak English among themselves, taking your breaks together with the whole group, ostracizing you if you want to take your break alone, getting snippy if you state boundaries (“I don’t talk about that with coworkers”), some people ranting openly and loudly in a room full of people about a coworker they don’t like for whatever perceived sling, your manager expecting you to enjoy her stories (no, I don’t really care about you, Andrea), then expecting you to be the one doing the most demanding tasks nobody wants to do.
I even have coworkers complaining I waste too much paper and that’s bad for the company. Who gives a flying fuck about that Karen? I really don’t understand why some people are like this.
Holy shit, I was so naive. I don’t know if every workplace is like this, but I just didn’t question it and went along with it because 2 years ago the workplace seemed good enough and pays better than everyone around afaik. I don’t know if I should look elsewhere.
If I start applying elsewhere, do I even mention this? Because I don’t want this to happen to me again.
There is a chance this also happens elsewhere. Do I stick with the devil I know?
if what I described happens anywhere, why even change jobs?
because I feel this is a trap where I’m supposed to say that I love my job more than anything, because I think this is how managers search for the ones who only want a paycheck and to leave work stuff at the workplace, because I work to live, not live to work, because I only want to do my hours and enjoy my life away from my coworkers, because managers actively search for the ones who drink the kool-aid and believe they will get a promotion if they just try harder, because the ones who ‘enjoy’ their jobs are the ones happy to work for the manager for free, because the ones who ‘like’ their jobs are the ones less likely to establish boundaries (and enjoy being exploited).
Trying harder just means you get a pat on your back and a bigger shovel, not a raise.