You can serve static pages by using the error page config line with monitor uri
listen static-file bind :80 monitor-uri / errorfile 200 /usr/local/etc/haproxy/errors/200.http
I also just use acme certbot (setup via puppet letsencrypt module) to do the certs and there’s a restart haproxy post script on cert update
Haha I get it, something something doing it because we could,… But never ask if we should. But it’s a fun trick with haproxys features, you could probably also do something with acls and or lua too if you wanted to be fancy