thanks, yeah i hope so too.

well i havent mentioned this but i do have some physical damage from third degree burn plus surgery and years of rehabilitation plus incurable disease i had since kid and also in constant mentally drained, i hardly able to enjoy anything even doing my hobbies, right now it all tastes bland.

and with that condition, i am still forced to deal with so many bad situation i told in this post, to the point that i feel life is pointless and just waiting game for me.

good to hear that your life is getting better in 40s, i hope my life will also get better even thou i dont know when or will it happen or not, nobody knows. i just wish it happens sooner for me, i just really at my limits.

i already tried to find better people as i said this post but ended up ghosted, and scammed by tax and business platform, world really filled with bad and cruel people. plus jobs market is not looking good too.

i am just tired already, if only i can time out or surrender like a game, then i already do.

im at my limit dude, its been years and its not getting any better.

the question is when it gets better? its been awhile since i am suffering too many problem and it is not getting better.

i did tell whats going on, and not many that really actually cares or they just give template answer like “everything is okay” while the reality it is not.

yeah i think i am hoping too much that it will be transactional

my mental health is seriously impacted since bad things keep coming and coming like storm never ends, it is really hard to stay being good in the world when you are in this condition (if you need some example then you can try watch movie joker from batman)

yeah i think i need to improve my wellbeing first, looking at current condition, i am totally not okay at all.

totally agreed

i am not really understand that, can you give some example of it?

i did it and somehow regret it i suppose? if only i am not that nice and good, i might get better results, you know not gotten scammed or trapped by somebody evil.

sure i will message you then

how to find the balance?

its been months since i am depressed, i do going outside occasionally, but the street around me is not even healthy because its dirty and lot of cars passing around or even park like they own their land here.

i am indeed depressed, i even need medication to deal with it.

exactly this is so true, i really hate how random life is. if only life is fair enough to always reward nice person, then that will be utopia.

as example i contribute like listen and help giving advice to their problems, being as friendly as much as possible too and never triggers fight or conflict whatsoever but then one day, i am no longer able to as helpful as i am before and those ppl decided to ghosted me.

yeah must be suck when you decided to retire and life decided that you are not allowed to.

i already make sure that i am being as nice and friendly as possible but yet those “friends” still ghosted me

so basically if you are guaranteed to get lucky and rich, basically having easy life by become evil, you still choose to become nice and honest person?

tbh what i want is become rich, succesful, lucky, have many friends, healthy, and have no problems in life, literally living in easy mode and so far being nice for me doesnt give me those thing i want.

yeah i dont feel that unfortunately, i feel that is wasted time and energy tbh. i doubt world is softer place, in fact i feel it getting harder.